So, we are meeting with our case manager for the first time on Monday. She gave us homework ALREADY! Yikes! Nothing like getting a taste of my own medicine, haha.
Our assignment was to fill out an "Adoptive Parent Intake" form. What is that you might ask? Well, it's basically a questionnaire/survey type document. We needed to provide the basics: name, address, telephone number, etc. As well as A LOT of background information on our families, our hobbies and interests, and what our house is like. Easy, right? Well, then we got to the hard questions. On the form, the agency asked us to fill out our preferences in regards to the baby that we are interested in adopting. Our reaction to this was: how does a couple show their preferences for the child they are giving birth to? Simply put, they don't. When you conceive and give birth to a child, he or she is a gift. Granted, you have control over some things like what your child will look like and their race/ethnicity or your level of pre-natal care and your health during pregnancy, however, factors like medical issues, mental or physical disabilities, the timeline of when you actually give birth, and the actual birthing procedure are unknowns that are left in God's hands. Our dilemma: Who are we to meddle in God's plan for our child? How do we make those decisions for an adoption when we wouldn't be able to make some of them through a natural birth?
After much prayer, discussions with others that have gone through the adoption process and discussions with each other, we came to this conclusion:
With the exception of race/ethnicity, our adoptive child's and birth family's health/medical history, should be as close to that as our own.
We both know that neither one of us would use drugs or alcohol before or during the pregnancy. We know that there is not a history of violence in either one of our families. We know that there is not a history of physical disabilities, but there is a history of learning disabilities. We know that there is a history of diabetes and heart disease, but not of epilepsy or mental illness.
As we went through the checklist, this information helped. We were able to discuss our comfort level, project on what we think we could handle as first time parents, and agree on things that we definitely knew would be challenging for us. That being said, the adoption is in God's hands. So we can say "yes" or "no" or "willing to discuss" to items on a checklist a mile long, but at the end of the day, it's His decision and He has a family out there that will be the right match for us.
As you go through your weekend and into the start of next week, please keep our meeting in your prayers. Pray that our relationship with our case manager, Kelly, would be a positive one, that we can work together as a team as we go over the Intake form, and that our stress level and the overwhelmed feelings that I'm sure we are both going to face after the meeting would be quieted.
For more information on how drugs and alcohol affect babies and mom during a pregnancy, please visit the sites below. They were a great resource as we completed our homework assignment and would be a great resource for any mom that is struggling with an addiction or is using during her pregnancy.
American Pregnancy Association: http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/illegaldrugs.html
WebMD: http://www.webmd.com/baby/drug-use-and-pregnancy
March of Dimes: http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/illicit-drug-use-during-pregnancy.aspx
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